The Social Years
"Everyone is on TikTok."
What to say
Start here
"I believe you that a lot of them are on it. I want to tell you the real reason I keep landing on no, because it isn't that I think you'd do something wrong on there."
Name what the app actually does
"TikTok doesn't wait for you to search for anything. It watches what you slow down on and then gives you more of that, and it gets good at it fast, so within a few weeks the app knows things about you that you haven't told anyone."
Give them something instead of a flat no
"Here is what I can do. You can watch it with me on my account when you want to show me something, and we can look again at your own account when you're older. I'd rather move the line later than pretend I never said it."
What not to say
"TikTok is garbage and it's rotting your brain." Your kid probably has friends they like on there, so this tells them you think their taste is stupid, and the conversation is over before you get to the part that matters.
Why this matters
This one usually turns into an argument about the number of kids who have it, which you cannot win and do not need to. Moving the conversation onto what the app does with attention gives you a reason your kid can actually follow, and it leaves you room to say yes later without it looking like you caved.
Follow-up questions
- "What do you actually watch on there when you're at a friend's house?"
- "Has it ever shown you something you wished you hadn't seen?"
- "If you had it, what would you want to post?"