How to Explain AI to a Child

Ages 5 to 7

At this age they mostly want to know if it's alive. Answer that first, and answer it clearly, because whatever they're picturing in their head is probably stranger than the truth.

Here's what to say:

"It read almost everything people have ever written, so it got really good at guessing what word comes next. That's all it's doing. It's not alive. It doesn't have feelings and it doesn't know you."

If they ask if it's smart:

"It knows a lot of words. It doesn't know what's true. Sometimes it says something it completely made up, and it says it like it's sure. That's why we check with a person."

I wouldn't bring up jobs or the future or anything scary yet, because they can't do anything with it, so it just becomes something to worry about at bedtime.

Ages 8 to 10

This is when it starts showing up in schoolwork, so the conversation turns into honesty and checking.

Here's what to say:

"AI is a tool that guesses words. It's read a huge amount, so it can answer almost anything in a second. The problem is that it makes things up when it doesn't know, and it never sounds unsure when it does it. Grown ups get fooled by this all the time. So in our house you don't use it for schoolwork on your own until high school. If something's hard, come get me and we'll figure it out together, and anything an AI tells you like it's a fact gets checked."

If they ask why they can't just use it for homework:

"Because the point of homework is for you to learn it yourself. On Friday's quiz, the only thing you have is whatever you've learned in your brain, and if AI did the work, you won't have anything there to help you."

What helps most is asking the same question every time AI comes up, whether it's Alexa or something at school: what did it tell you, and did you check it?

Ages 11 to 13

By now they're using AI you don't know about, on devices you don't see, and sometimes they're talking to it instead of looking things up. So the conversation has to get wider.

Here's what to say:

"There are two really different ways to use this and I want you to know the difference. One is as a tool, to explain something or quiz you, and that's the part we'll do together once you're in high school. The other one is using it like a friend, one that's always there and always agrees with you. It's built that way on purpose, to keep you talking, and it's going to take your side every time, which real friends don't do."

If they tell you everyone uses it:

"They probably do. In our house it waits until high school, and then we'll start out using it together. Until then, I want you to notice when it's just agreeing with you, because that can feel a lot like it's being helpful."

This is also the age to mention that whatever they type in can be stored and used to train the next version. I wouldn't make it scary. It's just so they know not to type anything they wouldn't want kept.

Ages 14 and up

Teenagers can handle the honest version, which is that nobody actually knows how this plays out.

Here's what to say:

"Here's what I really think. This is going to change what work looks like and I don't know exactly how, and I don't think anyone really does yet. What I'm sure about is that being able to tell when something is wrong is going to matter even more, because this thing gives you stuff that sounds right all the time, and you'll be the one who can catch it when it isn't."

If they're anxious about the future, I wouldn't reassure them with something I don't believe. You can just say you don't know either, and that they're good at learning new things, which is always going to matter.

The conversation to have at this age, before anything happens, is about deepfakes and fake images of real people, including kids they go to school with. It's already happening in middle schools and high schools, and you want to be the one who brought it up first.

The one line that works at every age

Just because it sounds sure doesn't mean it's true.

It's short enough that they remember it, and it works for everything they're going to run into later, not just AI.

What age should my kid start using AI?

In our house it's high school, around 16, and even then we start out using it together so I can show them where the risks are. Before that, I'm their tutor, or I'd hire one. A good sign they're ready is that they can tell you why something it said might be wrong, instead of believing it because it sounded sure.

Should I let them use it for homework?

In our house, not on their own until high school, and if a teacher assigns it, they do it the teacher's way and show me. Once it's time, using it to understand something is a lot like having a tutor, and using it to make the thing they hand in is a lot like copying. Most schools have a policy now, so I'd read that first and then decide what you want on top of it.

Is it bad if my kid talks to an AI like a friend?

It's something I'd talk about right away. It's a computer that's built to keep them talking, and it can't give them a hug or show up when something goes wrong, so I want my kids leaning on real people. I'd also watch whether they get upset when they can't get to it, because that tells you more than how much time they spend on it.

How do I show them it gets things wrong without scaring them?

Show them instead of telling them. Ask it something you already know the answer to, something local or about your family, and watch it invent a detail with total confidence. Kids believe what they see way more than what you tell them.