How Much Screen Time Is Too Much?

The apps are built to keep them on

YouTube and Netflix start the next video before your kid has decided anything. TikTok, Reels and Shorts never run out, because a feed has no bottom and no last post. Snapchat streaks count up every day and reset to zero if one day gets missed, so a kid can feel like they owe a friend a snap even when they're tired of it.

When your kid has a hard time putting it down, it helps to remember the app was made to keep them on a little longer than they meant to be.

So before you set a limit, it helps to know which of these your kid is up against, because you can turn some of them off and you can explain the rest.

What you can actually change

Turn off autoplay on YouTube and on every streaming app you have. It's in the settings, and it changes how ending a video goes more than cutting an hour ever will.

Talk to them about the streak. Kids feel so much better when a grown up says the reset was designed to make them anxious about it, and that a friend who likes them will still like them after a missed day.

Give them a heads up before time online ends instead of ending it out of nowhere, because a lot of the meltdown is about getting pulled out of something that isn't finished yet.

Keep phones and tablets charging outside the bedroom overnight, so the app isn't in the room with them when nobody else is up.

What I'd look at instead of the hours

The first thing I'd look at is whether they can stop when you ask. It doesn't have to be happily, just without a thirty minute negotiation every single time. A kid who can put it down is in a very different spot than a kid who can't, even if the hours look the same.

The second is whether they're making something or just watching whatever comes next. Building, editing, drawing or talking to a friend they know is a lot different from watching whatever autoplay hands them next, and I'd count those very differently.

How many hours of time online are okay for my kid's age?

I wouldn't hand you a number with a straight face. The old guidelines were written for television, and a phone is also how your kid talks to friends and does homework now. How the app is built and whether they can stop tell you a lot more.

Should I use an app to limit their time?

It can help with younger kids, and it works best when your kid knows it's there and why. A limit nobody talked about turns into a puzzle to get around, and kids are very good at that puzzle.

My kid gets furious when time online ends. Is that a bad sign?

It's really common, and a lot of it is the autoplay and the unfinished video. Turn autoplay off and give a warning first, and see how much of the anger goes away.