The Social Years
"Everyone has a second account. It's just for close friends."
What to say
Start here
"I know what those are, and I know most of them really are just for close friends. So tell me what you'd put on the second one that you wouldn't put on the first."
Name what the second account is for
"Wanting a smaller group to see something is completely fair, I get that. The one thing I'll say out loud is that a private account isn't actually a private thing. Any one of those twenty people can screenshot it in two seconds and send it to somebody who was never in the group, and you'd never know it happened."
Land somewhere honest
"I'm not going to pretend I can stop you making one. What I'm asking is that I know it exists, and that you post on it like the whole grade might see it, because at some point one of them will."
What not to say
"If you need a secret account you must be hiding something." Most second accounts are for posting silly stuff to eight friends, and accusing your kid of hiding turns an account you knew about into one you do not.
Why this matters
Second accounts are normal now and a ban mostly produces one you cannot see. Getting told it exists is worth more than winning the argument, and the screenshot point is the one fact that changes how a kid posts.
Follow-up questions
- "How many people are on the close friends list?"
- "Has anything from it ever got out to people it wasn't meant for?"
- "Would you be alright if I followed it?"