The Phone Years
“My friend wants me to add him on Roblox.”
What to say
Start here
"I know Roblox looks like a harmless game that's just for playing. There are a lot of risks on it, though, because of the chat and the way strangers can get to you. Show me what you like playing on there, because I want to know what it looks like."
Explain it
"I get why you want to add him, it makes sense that you want to hang out outside of school. For now I don't want you having a Roblox friends list at all, because once it starts it never stays just him. As you get older, more of those people can chat with you and invite you into their games where I can't see what's being said. It's a no on Roblox for now, and we'll find another way for you two to hang out."
With younger kids
"Roblox is for bigger kids, and right now the only people you play games with are people who are right here with us. If you want to play with him, let's ask his mom or dad if he can come over, and you two can play a game together at our house."
With older kids
"You're old enough now that I can tell you more about why. Some grown-ups go on Roblox pretending to be kids, and they're really good at it. They start out really nice, and then they ask you to move over to Discord or Snapchat, where it's even harder for anybody to see what's going on. That's why it's a no for Roblox."
Keep the friendship going
"I'm not trying to stop you from being friends with him, I just want it to happen somewhere I can see it for now. You can call him, have him over on Saturday or meet up at the park after school, and he'll still be your friend without the Roblox add."
When they say he is their actual friend
"I know he is. I'm not saying he isn't. What I worry about is everybody else who ends up on that Roblox friends list once it gets going. We'll look at it again when you're older."
If they already have it
"You already have Roblox, and I'm not deleting your account. Let's go through your friends list together tonight, and anyone you don't know in real life comes off. We'll turn the chat off in the settings, and I want to play with you sometime so I can see what it's like. If anybody on there asks you to talk on Discord or somewhere else, tell me right away. You won't be in trouble."
Why this matters
Roblox looks like a harmless game, but it's also a huge social network full of strangers, even with the new chat age checks. This keeps the focus on staying close to the friend in real life, so your kid hears "here's another way" instead of just "no."
The Sunday Script
Get one script like this every Sunday
The words for one hard conversation, in your inbox every Sunday, and a short note once a month. You can stop anytime.
That email doesn’t look right.